Week 4: Finding Moments of Joy and Gratitude

Grief can make it hard to imagine feeling joy during the holidays. You might feel conflicted---how can you smile or feel grateful when someone you love is gone? Remember, feeling joy is not a betrayal of your loved one; it’s part of being human.

Embrace small Joys

Having joy will get you through difficult times. Notice simple moments of beauty, like twinkling lights, a favorite song, or a warm blanket. Let yourself enjoy these small comforts. Small moments of joy can be gifts and can bring you a sense of inner peace and well-being. It’s also part of Self-Care.

Here are other small ways to find joy:

• Watching a sunrise or sunset

• Sharing laughs with good friends. It’s such a good feeling and is good for the soul

• Feel joy about something you have accomplished

• Be around joyful people; it can give you a boost of good feelings and joy.

• Recognize the benefits of feeling more joy; it promotes a healthier lifestyle, boosts your immune system, fights stress and pain, and supports longevity.

 (Excerpts from Recipes for Healing)

Give Yourself Permission to Feel Joy

You might feel guilty for moments of happiness. But joy doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one. It honors the life you’re still living. Feeling moments of happiness and joy are part of your healing and you are honoring your loved one.

Practice Gratitude and Attitude

Gratitude can coexist with grief. Write down one thing each day that brings you comfort or reflect on the love and support you have in your life. Our attitudes are often a choice. Sometimes we do have to look hard to find joy, especially while we are on this grief journey, but it can be a little easier when we remember the love we shared with our loved one and how they would want us to experience joy in our lives again.

Create Joyful Moments in Their Memory

Engage in activities that they loved or find new ways to celebrate them. Whether it’s baking their favorite cookies or volunteering, these moments are when you can feel connected to them. Someone told me that they lit a candle each day in December in their memory and the whole house seemed warmer. It was a daily reminder of her spouse, and it made her feel so much better.

Share Joy with Others

Spreading kindness----whether through a thoughtful note, volunteering, or a small act of kindness---can create unexpected joy. Find a place inside where there’s joy, and joy will burn out the pain.

Take Good Care

Week Four Recipe:

Sweet and Sour Beef Stew

Here is another easy recipe that is quick and easy to prepare. It’s made in one pot which I love because it’s so convenient, but the best part is, it is so delicious and again provides comfort when we need it.

1-1/2 pounds of stew meat, cut into 1-inch cubes. When I make this now, I use chuck meat which gives it an even better flavor.

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 cup chopped carrots

1 cup sliced onions

1 (8-ounce) can tomato sauce

¼ cup of brown sugar

¼ cup vinegar, whatever kind you have on hand.

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon salt

4 teaspoons cornstarch, plus ¼ cup cold water

Brown meat in hot oil in a heavy bottomed Dutch oven pan, Add remaining ingredients, except cornstarch, and water. Cover and cook over low heat until meat is tender, for about 2 hours. Combine cornstarch and water to make a slurry, add to beef mixture, continue to cook until thickened and bubbly.

Serve over noodles or mashed potatoes. Makes 4-6 servings

Recipe is in my book Recipes for Healing, Working Through Grief One Plate at a Time, (Just Not Lasagna!) Enjoy!!