Week 5: Looking Ahead with Hope

As holidays come to an end, the new year may bring mixed emotions. Stepping into another year without your loved one can feel daunting. However, it also offers a chance to reflect, honor your journey, and begin to envision a hopeful future.

Reflect on Your Journey

Take pride in the strength and courage you’ve shown in these tender moments navigating the delicate balance between grief and celebration. Acknowledge your resilience and the steps you’ve taken, no matter how small.

Set Gentle Intentions

Instead of resolutions, consider intentions like:

• “I will be kind to myself on hard days.”

• Try to stay in touch with friends who understand

• Keep going, doing the different modes of therapy and healing

• Don’t be afraid to keep talking about your loved one on how much you miss him/her. This was very important to me, and it also lets those who are close to you know that it’s ok to mention his or her name.

• Try journaling, even if it’s just writing one word a day. You will be surprised how these words will evolve over time.

• Say “I will honor my loved one by living fully.” Believe it! Remember, you carry that person and their love with you on this journey, because they lived.

  
  

Carry Their Legacy Forward

Incorporate their values into your life, whether by volunteering, dedicating achievements to their memory, or sharing their stories. It’s important for people to know that he or she left a lasting impact not only with their family and friends but all with whom they came in contact. 

Seek Support When Needed

If the new year feels particularly hard “lean on and lean in” to trusted friends, support groups, or professional guidance. Asking for support doesn’t mean weakness, it means strength.

Embrace the Possibility of Hope

Having hope doesn’t mean forgetting your grief. It means believing in the possibility of joy, love, and meaning again. Hope can begin when the mind begins to see a future. One of my Peer facilitators said this, “I can’t change what happened, but I can choose which new paths I will follow and in which direction I will move. I now move forward filled with hope, love, and enthusiasm for life.” As unbelievable as it seems at first, healing and joy are possible. Your future may be very different from the one you had planned, but it can still be a good one, holding promise, happiness, and hope. Give yourself a GIFT OF HOPE!

I hope this series Coping with the Holidays has been helpful and provided some comfort and guidance to you, a family member or a friend. I wish you all a very blessed and peaceful holiday and a healthy and happy New Year!

Week Five Recipe:

This is a wonderful holiday appetizer, my sister Debby’s Holiday Cheese Ball. It’s easy, delicious and can be made ahead of time.

2 (8-ounce) packages of cream cheese softened

1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained

¼ cup finely chopped green pepper (or red, if you don’t have green)

2 tablespoons finely chopped onion

½ teaspoon seasoned salt

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (to roll cheese ball in)

I love Chicken in a Biskit crackers to serve with this.

Mix all ingredients except nuts. Roll into two balls, wrap in plastic and chill.

Once chilled roll into nuts and serve. Enjoy!

This recipe is in my book Recipes for Healing, Working Through Grief One Plate at a Time, (Just Not Lasagna!)