An Emergency Kit for a Bad Day

“Or A Grief Survival Kit: Having a Plan B for the Hard Days.”

Grief doesn’t send a calendar invite.

It doesn’t check whether you’ve slept well or have dinner plans or need to function like everything is fine.

It simply arrives.

And when it does, it can feel like being caught in a storm without an umbrella.

Over time, I’ve learned something important: we may not be able to prevent hard days----but we can prepare for them.

This is where your emergency/survival kit comes in.

Not because we’re weak. 

Not because we’re not coping well enough.

But because love was real----and real love leaves real waves behind.

A survival kit is simply a Plan B for when your heart feels fragile.

A place you can turn instead of spiraling.

A reminder that even on the hardest days, you are not without tools.

Inside that kit?

Some of us might only need a simple carton or a box the size of a carry-on suitcase. Others might need an old-fashioned trunk---use whatever it is that fits your needs, because each of us grieves differently. Inside can be practical things, comforting things, hope-filled things. Things that were chosen before the storm hit.

Start right now putting together your emergency/survival kit so you can shift immediately into “Plan B” whenever you are blindsided by some event, circumstance or happening.

Here are a few suggestions that can help you get started, some of which I have kept in my emergency/survival kit.

• Loving Listener Address Book: We all have one or two or even a few good friends who will give you their loving presence while offering no advice for your hurting heart. Talking is one of the best medicines and it could provide you with vital first aid. I read once that on our grief journey we may learn we have to rewrite our address books after a loss, so this can be an opportunity to add some new support persons and delete some folks who have not been there for us.

• Photo Album: The pictures in your album might help you to focus on happy memories that can lighten the burden of your grief and help you to feel joy.

• Heavenly Inspiration: Reading something meaningful that can lift our spirits and empower us to keep going even when the going is hard. I have a tiny Bible that belonged to my grandmother that is in my box that has helped me pray for help, talk to God; to feel the power of a connection knowing I have a Loving Listener always. A book of powerful meditations, like Living With Loss ,Meditations for Grieving Widows by Ellen Sue Stern with special ones marked and ready for a difficult day can be very helpful.

• An Uplifting Book: Selecting a book with a warm and healing message can offer a soothing note to brighten spirits. A favorite book of mine is Learning to Laugh When You Feel Like Crying by Allen Klein. It feels like a wonderful companion in your darkest days. It will soothe your heart and will make you smile.

• Gift Certificate: Whenever you are feeling low, it’s time to pamper yourself, so include a gift certificate for a massage or a facial. This is called Self-Care and it is so necessary to take care of our tired muscles and sagging spirits. Taking the time to pamper yourself is a good way to get out of the doldrums.

• Family Recipe: This of course is very dear to me. Preparing a favorite dish that my loved ones enjoyed made me feel better and eventually inspired me to write Recipes for Healing. It was a wonderful distraction from the pain and helped me in so many ways to heal my heart. It gets us busy with something that has happy memories and it’s a good way to share the meals with family or friends, also helping us to have the feeling of being social again.

You probably won’t need this every day, and as time goes by, you can add and subtract, continually updating and insuring you that you can and will have a better day. But when the wave hits, you’ll be grateful you prepared for it.

So what would you put in your emergency/survival kit? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

Take care!