Finding My Way Back Through Memories and Food While Grieving

When grief entered my life, it felt as though everything familiar had been stripped away. The

routines I once leaned on became overwhelming, and even simple tasks felt impossible. But

slowly, I began to find a way back to myself through two things that held deep meaning:

memories and food.

Cooking as Comfort for David

David would never have been considered a foodie in the traditional sense---but he enjoyed the things I cooked for him. For me, creating meals was more than just preparing food---it was a way of showing love, of bringing both of us comfort during difficult days. One of his favorite meals was Roast Pork & Homemade Sauerkraut. I can still picture the pride he took in making that sauerkraut, and how much joy it brought him when we sat down as a family to share that meal together. Even after he was gone, I realized that cooking continued to be a way of caring---not only for him in memory, but also for myself.

“Grief takes much away, but memory offers gentle ways to carry love

forward.”

Remembering My Mom Through Recipes

The kitchen also became a place where I reconnected with my mom after her passing. Cooking for her was more a necessity, preferring more to read some good novels, but the recipes she prepared were delicious and carried pieces of her spirit. One that stands out is her New England Clam Chowder, a dish with warmth and tradition. She always said her secret was adding evaporated milk---it gave the chowder a silky, full-of-flavor, delicate taste. Whenever I make it, I hear her voice sharing that secret with me, and I feel her presence close by. With each familiar step of preparing that chowder, I felt her beside me again.

The Power of Memory and Food Together

What I discovered is that food and memory are deeply intertwined. A simple recipe can unlock a flood of memories: the smell of sauerkraut roasting with the pork, the taste of clam chowder warming me on a cold day. Each dish held a story, and each story carried the love of both David and my mom. Through these recipes, I found ways to honor their lives while also nourishing my own spirit.

Grief can feel like it takes everything, but sometimes, small practices help us find our way back. For me, it was the act of cooking---making David’s favorite meal, remembering my mom’s recipes, and creating comfort for myself in the process. For you, it may be something different.

But whatever brings you connection to your loved ones, lean into it. It’s through those tender

practices that we carry love forward---step by step, meal by meal, memory by memory.

This journey of blending food with memories became such an important part of my healing that I gathered many of these stories and recipes into my book, Recipes for Healing. It’s not just a cookbook, but reflection on how food can nourish both body and soul during grief. My hope is that, in sharing these memories and meals, others may find comfort and a reminder that love can live on in the simplest, most heartfelt ways.

Take good care of yourself….